"Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be. Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before."
-Erich Fromm-

30 May, 2010


It is now 1:08a.m. and i can't find my resting place... I have been plagued by the insomnia bug for the first time in well... FOREVER! My mind has been on a continuous thinking streak and I'm not sure when and if it will ever end. I find myself guilty of implying or proclaiming that things are impossible at times, then i ponder at whether or not i remember who my God is. And if so, am i aware of the fact that All things are possible if we have faith?!

Faith begins with the act of imagining. If you don't have dreams, how can dreams come true? The future is as bright as your faith. 

I must bid adieu... my soul awaits the rising of the sun and with it... all it's glory.

27 May, 2010


Oy Vay! Our weather has gone temporarily insane... one minute it's cold, the next minute, take today for example, a mere 97 degrees. I tend to resent the Spring and Summer Seasons, only because... there is a certain limit to how much clothes you can strip, due to being arrested for what's it called now-a-days? "Indecent Exposure!" Compared to the Fall and Winter seasons where you can bundle up in cozy Houndstoothed jackets, Knees High Boots, Cashmere gloves, and yes, for some... even their beloved "Snuggie"(i can't get with that program).  

After many errands ran, i peeped the sky.. and lo and behold.. RAIN CLOUDS!!! They must've been sumoned by my mumbled complaints of how my hair lost its "UMPF" and how my hands began to swell which forced my loveable Forever 21 rings to remain in place and leave ugly ring indentation in my oh so soft skin... forgive me, I DIGRESS!

Anywho... much to my dismay, we didn't receive one steady rain shower, instead we got spits of rain, here and there. But, all in all... i was in awe at the magnificent picture God so graciously painted in sky.

Leaving me with an open imagination of just what else he(God) is capable of producing. *Sigh*
MUST SLEEP... Hope everyone's day was blessed.

Ta-Ta for now... or as Fez would say...


25 May, 2010

It's all Roses & Beans

Started my day at 5:23a.m.  and for some reason, i always wake up about 2 mins before my alarm goes off... SOOO ANNOYING!

Usually i have so much business to do after work, but since the love of my life is away, today was a somewhat quiet one. I drove home, aware of the fact that my ride is needing an oil change...but not feeling the want to drive to Valvoline, I came home. Spent some quality time in the back yard with my doggy boy, enduring in the wonder of God's beauty.

In doing so, I found the most beautiful rose in our rose bushes and couldn't help but share...

Drove to the airport to pick up the BFF from her business trip and returned home in time to enjoy a bowl of beans, chili and a little overdose of cheese... plus there were fresh tortillas (not pictured)!! A staple in our household, as i'm sure in most households around New Mexico.

Now, i endure the continuous barking of the world's "greatest" companion ((*rolls eyes))... Grrrr!! I definitely need to do some research into doggy training classes, any suggestions?!. =0)

Have a Blessed night all!

24 May, 2010

Me, an emotional wreckage?!

This past week or so has been very exhausting... today at work i was in a so-so mood. Not really up for convo... mainly because i was tired. but, who's not tired now-a-days? I'm 24...i should be pumped all the time, right? NOT! I came home, cooked dinner (Chicken Cordon Bleu and Potatoes w/ broccoli), peeped the final episodes of "24" and all in time to say Ta-Ta...

It's a bittersweet moment... when saying goodbye is determined by your strength and not your emotions. I know so much good will come of this, but i hate to see my love leave (even when its for business). I was always taught never to allow myself to get so caught up in a person, that they define who i am. And much to my surprise, those words have made all the difference. I've learned to become a better person, not only for myself, but for those around me.
Being that i am not a "normal girl"... whatever that is... i dont cry often. But, tonight i made an exception... i'm an emotional wreckage!
Here's to us, Babe....
Doing BIG things .&. Living on top of the world!!!

12 May, 2010

Happy Birthday, Brother!!

Happy Birthday, to my Best Friend and Brother,
It started last night… I decided I would start his birthday off with somewhat of a BaNG! I blew up as many balloons as possible (with the help of my mom and wonderful boyfriend). Grabbed the streamer, tape and pins and began decorating the entire house. I piled balloons in his bathtub and on his bedroom floor, hung streamers, signed the card, placed it in the perfect spot and finally found my place in bed @ about 12:15a.m.
I laid down my head on my pillow and within seconds, thoughts began racing through my mind… Just 5 years earlier, we were at a friend's BBQ, fresh out of church service. Brother began to have a hard time breathing. Knowing that he has asthma, I ran out to the car to grab his inhaler and ran back inside. Handing brother the inhaler, I heard, (*PUFF…hold for 10 seconds…*PUFF), since his usual dose of Albuterol did the trick most times, I thought nothing of it. After helping prepare the food, we decided to say grace and begin grubbing. We look over to the chaise lounge and notice Brother barely breathing. Nerves racing… I called 911… waited and waited and waited. FINALLY, the ambulance arrived. Brother was rushed to the hospital (Presbyterian, which I now work for). Pacing the Emergency waiting room… 1 hour passed… 3 hours… 6 Hours… and so on… the news finally comes, Brother is being moved to ICU…. WHAT?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!

The Dr. gathers the family to tell us the news... “MY Brother” only has 12 hours to live… 12 HOURS??! We haven’t built our empire, traveled, or seen the world together. Why MY BROTHER? There’s still so much for us to do and see. Praying… I beg God to give us at least a few more days. A few more days to love him, and see him….

After many days of blood tests, x-rays, CT Scans, etc. etc… Brother starts to make a recovery. Finally able to sit up, move, even breathe. Then... more horrible news hits… Brother is HIV+ ?! Can it get any worse?

Day after day of sadness pass, until Brother is able to return home. Doctor visit after Doctor visit goes by. Progress is being made…

And here we are, 5 years later. Celebrating another year!!! And for this… I only have God to thank! For allowing me many more hours, minutes and seconds to enjoy the life of MY BEST FRIEND, MY BROTHER!!!!!

Bethany A.N. Crespin

Isaiah 26:3-4 (New King James Version)

3 You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.

4 Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God..." ▪Isaiah 43:1-3▪